Virtual Front Porch

My best part of that event was leaving for Alberta and on to the Coast.
The Chapter 38 boys in Alberta always put on an great event. http://www.ihc38.com/

Sounds like a bad experience alright and not typical of the Sask. towns I know. But then I don't get out much I hear the Chapter 38 shows at Moose Jaw, Sask. are top notch entertainment.

I drove my R120 to Moose Jaw. It was a great event. The people were nice. I remember sitting in my "R" and listening to the radio. I had the volume down low. My friend's elderly girlfriend was sitting at a picnic table next to my "R", and we were chatting lightly. An ol' guy in Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes walked over and sat across the picnic table from the female. In a few seconds the old guy blurted out, "I rather fancy you and I still have some lead in my pencil,, what do you say?"
Without a second's hesitation the lady replied, "Too bad you don't have someone to write a letter to." The Ol' guy asked, "What am I supposed to do with this, gesturing to his zipper. Without saying another word, she reached into her purse, pulled out a serviette and pointed toward the portable toilets.
I knew her history. She had spent a lifetime as a cook in logging and mining camps. One can assume she had heard just about every line and combinations of those lines many times.
A few hours later, the same fancy pants ol' guy wondered by my truck and asked, "What does and old guy have to do to get a ride in this truck?" I told the ol' guy to get in, followed by, "Do you mind if we do not shake hands?"
I told the ol' guy that I am from British Columbia and I thought Saskatchewan was very flat and certainly not like the West Coast. I told him that I filled both tanks with Diesel and after driving for more than a few hours, I stopped to fill the side tank with Diesel. When I looked back toward where I had just come, I could still see the last filling station. The ol' guy said, "I had a truck like that once, I could drive all day and never get anywhere."
I took the ol' guy for his ride and we went east on the highway. Once the automatic was in high, I turned on the Gearvenders overdrive. Soon the "R" was nearing 90 MPH. He looked rather calm and said, "I would not think a Cornbinder could fall this fast, let alone do it horizontal.

I told the ol' guy that I am from British Columbia and I thought Saskatchewan was very flat and certainly not like the West Coast. I told him that I filled both tanks with Diesel and after driving for more than a few hours, I stopped to fill the side tank with Diesel. When I looked back toward where I had just come, I could still see the last filling station. The ol' guy said, "I had a truck like that once, I could drive all day and never get anywhere."

Yeah, that flat Saskatchewan label only applies to parts of the South. Here it is rolling parkland with poplar trees. Although the modern efficient farmers can't afford to leave an acre growing trees and are doing their best to turn it into a bald rolling parkland. And I have also heard a similar story about the guy whose farm was so big that he could not drive around it in a day. Or maybe he just had a bad truck.

Now for something completely different.
I was on a flight to Calgary from YVR Vancouver, BC. The flight is only an hour and I started looking for something to do to make looking out the window more interesting. I could see the Rogers Pass about 35,000 feet below and I could just make out a few vehicles. A persons eyes tend to scan for the bigger picture and sometines the details get missed. I had an idea to ty to look through the soda straw that came in my drink to see what would happen. This concentrated my view to a much smaller area. Suddenly the movement of the traffic on the Rogers Pass came alive. I was totally focused on looking through the soda straw when I was interruped by a person identifying himself as an Air Mardhall. "What are you doing?" he asked. I explained what I was doing and then he took my soda straw away. His last comment was, "I will have to try this sometime." I thought the biggest threat was to myself and my eye. Just think of the pain if the airplane hit a bump and the straw tried to imbed itself in my eye.

By the time this air marshall confronted me, he had all of my personal details. I think the questions he asked me were to verify my history. He asked what I did for a living. I could not resist and I told him I was an OBGYN, but only on the weekends. I added, "I am going to Calgary to "look up an old friend". His reply was, "Here take this, you might need your straw." We both laughed and then it was time to land at YYC.

My wife's brother was a sports teacher. Because the school where he taught was a little short on cash, he would take the tensor bandages home and launder them. He had hung about 25 of the tensor bandages on the cloths line to dry. After an hour he went out to retrieve the tensors and one was missing. One of his Great Dane dogs had pulled a bandage down and had swallowed it. After a few hours, the dog started to struggle while trying to poop the bandage out. HIs wife says there was about two feet of tensor bandage hanging out of the dogs butt. My BIL got the idea to step on the end of the bandage and toss a stick for the dog to run after. This seamed to be working. The BIL failed to notice that while the bandage was paying out, it was stretching. When the bandage came to the end, it recoiled and smacked my BIL in his face. The wife of the BIL was laughing so hard she almost could not tell the story. As much as I would like to retell this family secret, when the BIL comes to visit, it is another subject along with politics and religion that are off limits, here.

I have a dog like that. He eats paper towels, keenex's and the like. I guess he wants to use toilet paper but can't hold onto it, uses the internal method.
He also likes to climb into the drivers seat of my semi tractor. Countless people have asked (and more haven't) to take his picture, he does look like he is driving the big rig!

The Christmas rush to spend has begun. I was 8 cars back in line for the McD's drive through for b'fast. The shopping centre management thought this might be a good time to tear up the cobblestones. The main entrance/exit is out of service. I could not find a place to park and have my b'fast, so I drove about a kilometer away to get a quiet parking place.

Millwrights: If a big hammer doesn't work, reach for a bigger hammer
Electricians: If a big hammer doesn't work, reach for another coffee
Mechanics: If it does not fit, shout WTF made this POS. Then modify to fit. .

......Designers draw to an accuracy of 1/16” inch or less.

Fabricators mark it with chalk and cut it with an acetylene torch.

...”cut to fit, hammer in, weld in place, paint to match.”

Seen it that way too many times to count.

The wife of one of the neighbours called this PM. She said she was at a high end bath fixture store. She had her preschool grandson with her. Suddenly there was the plaintive cry of her grandson from the next display. "Mommy, I'm finished." While hoping for the best and expecting the worst she rushed to the next dry bathroom display. There it was, a best effort of OMG. The sales person did not say a word, but handed the grandmother a roll of bathroom tissue and a ZIPLOC bag.