TECH SUPPORT


Back in the day....

Golden Jubilee
Golden Jubilee

Posts: 8937

Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:45 pm

Location: Canada's left Coast

Post Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:56 pm

TECH SUPPORT

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance & Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Cricket, Football, Golfing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

.............................................................................................................

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember. over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
I would rather have tools I do not need than to need tools I do not have
Thinking risks being controversial and possibly being offensive

Site Admin
Site Admin

Posts: 4938

Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 9:10 am

Location: Nampa, Idaho

Post Sun Nov 23, 2014 12:42 pm

Re: TECH SUPPORT

I wonder if there is TECH Support for Girlfriend to Wife? I am sure that a lot of Wife programs think that the Husband program is very Glitch y.

xxl

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Yard Art
Yard Art

Posts: 78

Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:08 pm

Location: La Grande, Oregon

Post Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:59 pm

Re: TECH SUPPORT

lbesq wrote:I wonder if there is TECH Support for Girlfriend to Wife? I am sure that a lot of Wife programs think that the Husband program is very Glitch y.

There is.....
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wife_1.0

Site Admin
Site Admin

Posts: 4938

Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 9:10 am

Location: Nampa, Idaho

Post Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:32 am

Re: TECH SUPPORT

Love it, but refuse to comment on the grounds that my Wife might read this! :whistling2:

Golden Jubilee
Golden Jubilee

Posts: 8937

Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:45 pm

Location: Canada's left Coast

Post Thu Jul 23, 2015 7:59 pm

Re: TECH SUPPORT

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village.
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the Taverna.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything.
No one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the Greeks will pay off their Eurozone debts.
I would rather have tools I do not need than to need tools I do not have
Thinking risks being controversial and possibly being offensive

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