Golden Jubilee
Posts: 8953
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:45 pm
Location: Canada's left Coast
Re: Being American
Here is one for Lloyd
In the late 1940s, our neighbour's wife took some dry cleaning fluid to some spots on her husband's Sunday-go-to-meeting suit. She poured the now dirty cleaning fluid into the outdoor toilet and thought she was done with it. Her husband came in from the field and stopped at the outdoor relief station to get rid of a problem that had been bothering him. Things were not moving as quickly as he had hoped and after thumbing the pile of old newspapers he decided that a puff on his pipe might encourage his system to cooperate. When the pipe had been fired up, he threw the still smoldering match into the adjacent hole. This set off a blast that blew the door off and sent the neighbour out into the yard. Some of the contents of the pit were sent flying straight up and then returned to earth landing on and around the stunned neighbour.
Same neighbour:
They bought a horse for the family. The oldest son went out riding the new-to-them horse for most of the day. When the son returned for supper, he complained to his mother that he felt some pain from the chafing of the saddle. His mother suggested that some Vaseline or petroleum jelly might ease the discomfort. While surveying the irritated area she reached into the medicine cabinet and picked out the familiar round jar. A two finger load of relief was applied to the area of discomfort and immediately the son started to scream in pain. The familiar round jar was blue and not white. VICKS VAPORUB is good for a cough and apparently good for a scream. And, now, good for a laugh.
In the late 1940s, our neighbour's wife took some dry cleaning fluid to some spots on her husband's Sunday-go-to-meeting suit. She poured the now dirty cleaning fluid into the outdoor toilet and thought she was done with it. Her husband came in from the field and stopped at the outdoor relief station to get rid of a problem that had been bothering him. Things were not moving as quickly as he had hoped and after thumbing the pile of old newspapers he decided that a puff on his pipe might encourage his system to cooperate. When the pipe had been fired up, he threw the still smoldering match into the adjacent hole. This set off a blast that blew the door off and sent the neighbour out into the yard. Some of the contents of the pit were sent flying straight up and then returned to earth landing on and around the stunned neighbour.
Same neighbour:
They bought a horse for the family. The oldest son went out riding the new-to-them horse for most of the day. When the son returned for supper, he complained to his mother that he felt some pain from the chafing of the saddle. His mother suggested that some Vaseline or petroleum jelly might ease the discomfort. While surveying the irritated area she reached into the medicine cabinet and picked out the familiar round jar. A two finger load of relief was applied to the area of discomfort and immediately the son started to scream in pain. The familiar round jar was blue and not white. VICKS VAPORUB is good for a cough and apparently good for a scream. And, now, good for a laugh.
I would rather have tools I do not need than to need tools I do not have
Artificial intelligence is no match for real stupidity....
Artificial intelligence is no match for real stupidity....